Usually, TV shows and movies depict woman as the celebrated victims in divorce stories. On the other hand, the men are portrayed as the silent sufferers who undergo anger, resentment, and fear during the separation process. Divorce is hard, particularly for people who do not know how to express their feelings. If not handled properly, the experience might be the downfall of a once successful man.
So, one would ask, how should a man handle separation? While there is no direct answer to this question, there are certain things one can do to reduce the impact. With time the anger and pain will be less. In the meantime, these tips will come in handy.
Hire a qualified attorney
The importance of having a dedicated divorce lawyer by your side during the proceedings can never be over emphasized. Many people undergo emotional turmoil during this time. Thus, they are unable to think straight. With all the figures you should master, the court dates, child custody dilemma and the loss of a partner, you may be unable to handle the trial. For more information on how to hire a reliable divorce attorney, go to the bottom of this page.
Pay alimony when asked to
Alimony offers financial support to the spouse who required support during the marriage. Usually, a spouse is required to pay alimony in several ways as per state laws. It can be in a lump sum, periodic payments or any other pre-determined plan.
Alimony has both financial and psychological impacts on men. Usually, people feel that the former spouse does not deserve to receive the money since they did not work for it. Although this reasoning might seem justified, remember that failure to pay alimony might end up costing you more. If you feel the amount is too much, talk to your lawyer on how you can have it reduced to a workable figure.
Do not be too proud to collect alimony
Nobody is too poor to give or too rich to receive. If your ex-wife provided financially for you during your marriage, you are entitled to alimony. Do not allow your ego to stop you from collecting the money since you need it. Some men feel insecure when they are asked to take the money, and this should not be the case. Ditch the “what will the society think of me” thing and live happily.
Do not make rushed financial decisions
To most people, divorce feels like death; which is reasonable considering that in both cases there is an aspect of loss. It is okay to hurt, grieve and to be emotional. While going through this phase, avoid making impulsive financial decisions. Do not switch jobs or move cities. Take time to digest everything before making significant adjustments.
Have a post-divorce budget
With all the expenses one has during this time, it is possible to disregard personal needs. It is great to pay for legal costs, but remember that you need to eat for you to remain healthy. That is why men need to have a budget that caters for the minor and quickly forgotten expenses like gas, food, and toys for the kids.
People getting divorced should abide by one rule: always look forward and never backward. Doing so will ensure they focus on practical solutions. They will also avoid bitterness which is self-consuming.